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I can’t even…

August 30, 2011

You might know that Neil and I are seriously thinking about trying for a child soon. Soon is a relative term but we’re choosing to keep it to ourselves. Anyhow, if you’re skeptical about the so called “biological clock”, I’m here to tell you IT’S REAL. Maybe it doesn’t happen to every woman but man, when it does you know it. It started out mild for me, progressed to moderate and now it’s full blown severe. I assume this is the norm.

A few things assisted in the progression from moderate to severe baby fever and it all started when my best friend told me she was pregnant back in late December. Throughout the summer, I’ve been spending a lot of time with her because when Baby comes, she’ll be a little busy 😉 Just being around her ever growing belly, feeling Baby move inside of her, simply everything about it pushed me closer and closer to the edge. She had told me a few months back that she secretly hoped I would turn up pregnant any day now. I hated to inform her that sorry, we’re very careful in that area.

And now, what with Megan’s due date looming over our heads (September 21st!) and studying maternal/newborn nursing this semester I am SO CLOSE it’s just about killing me. I think about it at least once a day. Y’all. The I am on the edge and I’m on my tippy toes, pearing over at the view below.

Thankfully, (because I know what’s best for me and Neil) a few things are keeping me from jumping. Neither of them outweigh the other and really, if it were for only one reason then I would say skrew it. The first reason is OBVIOUS: I’m still in school. Yea, I’ll graduate before I actually have the baby BUT clinicals are rough even without being pregnant. I can only imagine how much they’ll suck if I were dealing with morning sickness (which can and often does last all day), swollen feet, lack of sleep, and preparing for the baby in general. The second reason is Neil doesn’t have a real job, really. That is, he’s not teaching. Yea, we kind of need to have money to have a baby. Also, insurance. But Neil could get a job at any time, and in plenty of time to save of money for said baby. See, this is a problem NOW but could not be a problem later. Only time will tell.

But if this freakin’ OB class doesn’t get to me (because boy, it sure is trying!), I think I’ll be able to make it until after graduation. That way I can practice for at least nine months and we will have had enough time to settle into whereever we live, save money, etc. Aside: Most people are turned off of wanting to have a baby during OB class because everything you learn is just TOO MUCH. But knowledge only excites me. The more I know, the more I want. I’m weird like that.

SO. Other than telling you how much I want a baby and my reasons for not doing anything about it yet:

My friend Janet over at Love is Blonde lost her baby boy about a week ago before he was born. When I heard this news my heart sunk. I can’t even imagine the heartache she’s going through. Not that I wouldn’t feel awful for her otherwise but, now that baby fever has practically taken over my body I just can’t stand it. I cried when I found out. I don’t know this girl other than from reading her blog off and on yet I feel so much for her right now.

If you could just take a minute to pray for her and her family, I know she would greatly appreciate it.


  1. heather says:

    i have never experienced strong want for a baby. ever. and i’m gettin old! sure, i’ll have a baby someday; i know i want to at some point.. but i enjoy doing whatever i want and drinking beer too much.. hahah.

  2. Leanne says:

    This is exciting for both of you though 🙂 Even though you’re not exactly ready juuust yet (according to you), it’s exciting to still think about it and plan for the very near future 😉 It won’t be long going! Soon enough, you’ll be finished school and doing your clinicals…You’ll have more money in the bank and more time to you know, plan 😉

    And I am so sorry to hear about your friend 🙁 It must be so hard. I pray that she gets through this <3

  3. janet says:

    Hey there…I am a little late but I just wanted to say thank you for your kind words, and thoughts and prayers. It means a lot. Hugs.